In recent days

I'm beginning to feel more agitated, becoming somewhat unstable at slightest of provocation. I guess the initial liveliness is wearing off quickly as the time passes. I wonder how I might be able to continue on my charade.

I must focus all my energy and thoughts to my job simply to make ends meet but all the nothings surrounding me doesn't seem to be able to let me go in peace. What kills me is not how there is a bothersome burden to carry around but how I must waste my time and energy agonizing over it, the time and energy better spent on pursuing my studies.

Speaking of my studies, it isn't going so well either. Although there are a few things that are becoming clear with further study, they remain at more or less at the level of general outline, and the progress had been slow. The added stress I get from the garbage I must live with doesn't really make matters easy either.

The real problem at the academic side would be the amount of field I have to cover and be proficient in relatively short time I have, ranging from economics to advanced mathematics and biochemistry.

All I can do for now is to hang on, and take things easy.